At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
