I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
