Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
