i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
