I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
