..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
