let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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