I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
