i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
