I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
