talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize