giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
