yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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