What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
