Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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