and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
