My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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