We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
