Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize