Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
