Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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