omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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