Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
