you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
