dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
