I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
