Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sponge bath it is.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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