Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
