So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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