Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
