You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
