Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
