is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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