Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
