Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this will be a night to untag.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
