He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
