I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
