What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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