i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
