i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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