i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize