Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
