She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
