Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
