in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
