Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
