why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
