I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
