I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
