My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
