hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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