Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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