You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
