i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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