i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
where are you?
Hypothermia
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
