You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
