It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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