Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
