Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
