THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
